Baby daddy are you there?

So I started listening to this podcast concerning pregnancy and babies and they had a podcast about the first three months of your baby’s life. They talked about postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis. Now I’ll get more into that later because I want to know the difference for myself and for my brain, but it kind of freaked me out a little. They said that women who usually get postpartum psychosis are women with bipolar disorder…

Well that’s me.

So I started to freak out a little.

I call my husband,because he’s not with me at the time, and I explained to him about the postpartum psychosis and bipolar women. I tell him I really don’t want to kill our baby and he starts to laugh and said that I probably won’t kill the baby and laughs again. Now I know that probably sounds funny but when you’re bipolar disorder and just started this whole pregnancy thing kind it kind of made me mad.

From the beginning of the pregnancy when I told my husband I was pregnant the first thing he told me was to pee on another stick… he didn’t seem happy or excited like most men usually are. He didn’t really hug or kiss me until I told him too. His lack of understanding is what really is kind of kicking me in the face because I really thought that he would be the one more excited than me because he’s told me in the past that if we have a kid he would be joyous.

Now I’m kind of stuck with someone who is wishy-washy about it and I’m feeling a little bit alone. Now I know I have a lot of hormones and emotions running through me but sometimes you have to take shit seriously and really make people feel comfortable about their situation. Laughing at your wife when she said I don’t want to kill my baby isn’t the best thing to do….

5 weeks & 2 days

Hello World. OhTemp from Bipolar, Unemployed & Lost and I thought that I start another blog about another chapter in my life.

I’m pregnant.

Yup. I am 5 week and 2 days pregnant and I don’t feel shit other than tired and a little hungry. I know i’m pregnant because I haven’t had my period yet and it was due Jan 2nd.

soooo

I made an appointment, peed on a couple of sticks, and here I am.

I’m feeling a little scared, excited, and a little sad. My old life is slipping away fast and I don’t know if I’m ready…